Joshua’s Birthday Weekend Bash!

Joshua is 8 years old today!! Yay! The last two weeks have been a whirlwind, but now that I say that I realize that I have been saying that for at least a year. This year has been nonstop with all sorts of new adventures, changes, and our everyday life is so full. This is much different from when I first started this blog. Onto this past weekend, well Saturday I had planned a birthday party for Joshua. Unfortunately, every year Joshua’s birthday falls on a weekend that tends to be busy for everyone. I tried to get more people to come and plan a party, but things just fell apart. I was more concerned with how Joshua was going to take the disappointment because he can take things very personal — if not reminded of the actual circumstance he can fall into thinking that people did not want to come or that they did not come on purpose.

I came up with a plan to try to make it not so disappointing for him.

He also, wanted another Sonic cake which to be honest after the past two weeks the thought of trying to do that was overwhelming. Instead, I offered the idea of some gourmet cupcakes. After I told him what they would be he was “ok” with that. However, when he saw the tasty treats that I made then, ate them he said, “I am so glad you talked me into these cupcakes mom! They are SOOOOO good!” Score!  I planned a family party with just us and offered to do it in the morning so he would not have to wait, another SCORE for me. Another good thing was that my dad and step mom were town for her family reunion and they were able to come over and visit for a few hours. It was really pleasant and all of the kids were happy to see them. 



Continued ... Joshua’s Birthday Weekend Bash!

Struggles With Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Eating Disorders, & Sensory Processing

If you are not familiar with Body Dysmorphic Disorder here is the definition:

Body Dysmorphic Disorder is a mental disorder characterized by a  a preoccupation with a defect in  the person’s physical appearance. The defect is either imagined, or, if a slight physical anomaly is present, the individual’s concern is markedly excessive. The preoccupation must cause significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning. Last, the preoccupation cannot be better accounted for by another mental disorder (e.g., dissatisfaction with body shape and size in Anorexia Nervosa). ~ Body Dysmorphic Disorder Symptoms By PSYCH CENTRAL STAFF

My dysmorphia fed into my later developed eating disorder. I have come very far in my recovery with my eating disorder and my BDD (I am not “officially” diagnosed, but I do seem to fall under the criteria. Having a name for it has helped me in recovery even if I am not officially diagnosed.) however; I confess there are times when my mind is high-jacked into obsessive thoughts about my perceived defect, in my case this time it is my stomach. I have had different parts of my body be the object of obsession; I have overcome several such as my body hair, my nose, and my birthmark. Those were long lasting, but I did have others come and go such as thinking that my skin had a green tint and I thought everyone could see that. It was one of the reasons why I went to a tanning bed so much in my past — I thought that when I was tan the green tint went away.

I still struggle with my arm hairs, thinking that they are gross, thick, and I feel much better when it is summer time and they are blonde.



Continued ... Struggles With Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Eating Disorders, & Sensory Processing

Happy Autistic Pride Day!

I admit, I am not really in a typative or talkative mood today. I am social’ed out and this week has been rather exhausting; with David being gone it has caused too many ripples in our routine for the kids and me. However, I still felt like sharing in the celebrations of Autistic Pride Day! I decided to share some photos of art, and some of the things that the kids like to do and collect. I take pride in how they express themselves. I enjoy walking into a room and not knowing what drawing I will see, what has been created, what items have been lined up, or what stuffed animals will be occupying our kitchen chairs. 

I am sharing a couple of my recent paintings too.

When I find myself too jumbled with emotions and thoughts, I get in a stuck state. Sometimes it is so intense that I am unable to even write poetry, which is normally my way of expression when I cannot talk or write it out. When I am unable to do those I tend to draw repetitive type of  things, such as infinities linked together or a certain flower shape, swirling lines, all sorts of shapes really. Though Ariel has not been officially diagnosed, as she gets older I see more and more traits to indicate that she too may be an Aspie girl. It is not pressing at this point to get her diagnosed. She takes pride in being herself and embraces her unique ways. She embraces her brothers and likes that we are all so different — we fit very well as spectras being diverse in our own ways on the spectrum. (Not to say that it does not bring about interesting challenges, but all families have them.)  

Anyway, here is us taking pride in being Autistic and embracing our unique selves, hope you enjoy.  



Continued ... Happy Autistic Pride Day!

First Week For Daniel At Summer Enrichment Program

I thought I would give an update for the first week of Daniel’s summer enrichment program, that way he and I could have written memory of it. Keep in mind the week before my mom was in town and we not only socialized much more, but we also did several new things. In the past, for our family trying something new had the potential of taking anywhere from one day to three weeks recovery. A constant flow of socializing caused hours of Daniel being overwhelmed leading into nonstop meltdowns no matter how much he loved it or enjoyed himself. Though I admit it was (and is when it happens) tiring and taxing on me, my concerns for him trumped what I was going through. I will say it over and over again and I do not care how many times I repeat myself, it brings such joy to my heart to see him be able to enjoy himself and be happy before and after these things.

After saying all of that, the first day was intense to say the least.

Intense is the best word I can come up with to describe it because it was not a bad experience, but it was a rough one. Daniel and I have never been away from each other for that long of a period that was not a family member’s home or our own home. I had never left him in the hands of teachers or therapists. Have I been overly protective, yes. I felt it was my responsibility because he was unable to tell me if anything was wrong or had happened to him. However, I also did not have opportunities to do things like this for Daniel either. Had there been options that we could afford or been qualified for I probably would have tried them. (Cautiously and wisely) He has been able to communicate the things that are affecting him or causing him stress so this makes me more comfortable.

I also, trust the staff and the facilities so I feel this is a perfect fit for him to try such a big adventure.



Continue ... First Week For Daniel At Summer Enrichment Program

Summer Adventures

Our summer schedule is full and has several new adventures. The kids are trying new things and I am trying new things. David will be traveling a little more and is working on new projects while continuing his normal work duties. David’s mom is coming to visit in July. I feel good about all of it so far. I am mostly excited, but I am anxious as well. My mom was in town for this past week and it was such a wonderful visit. I am still a little in awe at how incredible it was. She was in good spirits, the kids were, and so was I. Compared to last year’s visit it was (as mom put it) “like night and day.” When I compared our situations from last year to this year I could see all the positive changes that had been made from us and with my mom.

I am in a much better mental and physical state.

The kids are happier and feel better since we moved into this house. Daniel has been able to do more things for longer periods of time and enjoy himself. My mom changed jobs, transferred to a new store, gained a new boss (who she believes is an extroverted Aspie :-)) and she has been able to work through some of her financial burden. (Wish we could get to that point, but I am happy for her. It has been a long struggle and she works hard.) Last year, mom came when the weather was still cold. My mom cannot handle the cold and it determines her mood — she cannot help it. She is miserable in the cold. Our last house was a sensory nightmare and it affected my mom, she could not stay over for very long.

She was in a job that drained her physically, mentally, and emotionally.



Continued ... Summer Adventures

IEP: Components to Consider When Seeking Accommodations III

Continued from: IEP: Components to Consider When Seeking Accommodations II

There seems to be much focus on controlling behaviors instead of actual academic goals or the emphasis is placed upon trying to get the child to fit into an environment. The environment itself could actually be causing them to manifest “behaviors” that the teachers/parents/IEP team want to stop. For Autistics and for some of those who have learning challenges, maybe Autistic with learning challenges, and/or additional components such as ADHD, anxiety disorder, depression, sensory processing movement is essential to being able to learn, process, and retain. Movement helps the mood, it helps the brain make connections, stimming releases stress and anxieties when forced to control our movements or limit them it can limit our abilities. This was an interesting read AUTISM IS NOT COGNITIVE… IT’S A MOVEMENT DISORDER!

Not only is there the emotional aspect of wanting to please and not being able to stop ourselves, but the words spoken or actions taken can be traumatic.

It can make us feel wrong or bad about ourselves. It can be confusing. Why is it so wrong to hand flap, jump up and down, clap, hum, or twirl? Granted there are some stims that are harmful and of course they need to be considered differently, but the body’s response or the stim is a form of communication. We are telling you something. I will use myself as an example, if I am in an emotional discussion and the person will not stop talking, I shutdown. If I manage to voice that I need them to stop talking and they do not I feel like my insides are bursting apart. I am jumbled, confused, overwhelmed and literally feel the words on my body and go through my body. I start to panic and my uncontrollable form of outward expression is to dig my nails into my flesh.

I cannot talk, I can only claw, dig, scratch, pinch, and pull at my flesh.





Continued .. IEP: Components to Consider When Seeking Accommodations III