IEP: Components to Consider When Seeking Accommodations II

Continued  from: IEP: Components to Consider When Seeking Accommodations

To give clarity about these posts, I am giving suggestions, insights, and trying to bring some awareness that the needs of our children and their goals should be based upon their specific strengths and challenges. This is supposed to be the purpose of the Individualized Education Plan (IEP), but I have observed from reading and interacting with parents that many times terms are blanketed into one thing such as working on motor skills, but no one has looked into dysgraphia, in some cases they have not even heard of it. If there are issues with following instructions, unable to follow instructions, disorganized, repeatedly looks as if they are listening, but do the opposite or their attempts are different from what you told them some claim these to be behavioral problems.

Or automatically ADHD, there could be other things to consider — dyslexia, executive functioning dysfunction, or even taking time to observe/ask about sensory sensitivities.

To take it one step further, ask or observe if there are any social issues that may be happening. From my personal experience, I have had moments when my mind gets so confused by a social interaction that I cannot focus or discern what I am being told or asked. This happened to me as a child and many times I was able to recover quickly when I was (am) able to understand the situation. Of course, this is not going to be all the time and every situation is different, but by adding accommodations/goals to an IEP for social circumstances could benefit a child and teachers greatly. If they struggle with math has dyscalula been considered? When they become overwhelmed with sensory issues have the specific ones been broken down and was accommodations/goals written for them. I go through those and several others in my next post.

This sounds like a lot and it is, but consider what the child/person is going through. 



Continued ... IEP: Components to Consider When Seeking Accommodations II

Mirroring Or Codependent? (repost)

Forewarning I am in a processing mode. I did not intend to make this so long, but clearly I had a lot to process.  I have started my journey of learning about codependency. I have been reading about it off and on for over a year now. However, I have only recently understood the terms, meanings, and behaviors in the last week applying them to my behaviors. As well as others who are in my life. The more I read the more I am not so sure that I fall under the typical codependent behaviors.

When I break down the signs of codependency, they seem different from what is described by others. 

Meaning I have not read of others with codependent behaviors who stop the behaviors once they see them. I do not feel that I need a person to make me happy. I feel like I have gotten myself trapped into relationships that I never wanted to be in. It is as if one day I wake up and say, “Where the hell am I?” (Pardon the language.) I am processing though so who knows what I will determine about myself.

Before I go on I found these to be words of wisdom. 

“It’s not a good idea to label yourself codependent, unless you plan to do something constructive about it. Because labels don’t empower you; they reinforce the undesired effect. Codependency is, however, a label of our time. So many facets of society are codependent. It’s usually synonymous with romance, too. Codependency is so ubiquitous that first of all, it’s hard to recognize. Secondly, it’s hard to end it — the healthy way.” 

End a Codependent Relationship the Healthy Way 

In the past when I have felt that I was dependent upon someone, or even something I cut it off. 

Continued ... Mirroring Or Codependent?

Mirroring Or Codependent? (repost)

Forewarning I am in a processing mode. I did not intend to make this so long, but clearly I had a lot to process.  I have started my journey of learning about codependency. I have been reading about it off and on for over a year now. However, I have only recently understood the terms, meanings, and behaviors in the last week applying them to my behaviors. As well as others who are in my life. The more I read the more I am not so sure that I fall under the typical codependent behaviors.

When I break down the signs of codependency, they seem different from what is described by others. 

Meaning I have not read of others with codependent behaviors who stop the behaviors once they see them. I do not feel that I need a person to make me happy. I feel like I have gotten myself trapped into relationships that I never wanted to be in. It is as if one day I wake up and say, “Where the hell am I?” (Pardon the language.) I am processing though so who knows what I will determine about myself.

Before I go on I found these to be words of wisdom. 

“It’s not a good idea to label yourself codependent, unless you plan to do something constructive about it. Because labels don’t empower you; they reinforce the undesired effect. Codependency is, however, a label of our time. So many facets of society are codependent. It’s usually synonymous with romance, too. Codependency is so ubiquitous that first of all, it’s hard to recognize. Secondly, it’s hard to end it — the healthy way.” 

End a Codependent Relationship the Healthy Way 

In the past when I have felt that I was dependent upon someone, or even something I cut it off. 

Continued ... Mirroring Or Codependent?

Intermission Post: My Made Up Deadlines

Hi there! I had planned on sharing the posts that I had been working for months about IEP’s (Individualized Education Plan) and it happened again. I went back to edit and add additional resources only to find myself overcome with confusion and doubt. I became worried that I was not making any sense. I was concerned that I had too many resources because I forget that not ALL people are like me — they do not enjoy consuming copious amounts of information. It is not their special interest and they spend their time on other things, just give the bullet points Angel! I am not good at that, I am not a “bullet point” type of person.

I consume, analyze, implement, dissect, organize information in my head, then I connect personal and observed experiences.

I think of as many situations as possible and different perspectives trying my best to include those thoughts throughout my posts when writing on a specific topic. As I am working on the post, if I find new information or someone posts on the same topic it derails me and can cause me to go down multiple paths until I come full circle back to what I had hoped to articulate, or I find that I lost my original point. I have many posts in my drafts that are just sitting there because this has happened to me and I could not go back to continue it or I morphed it into another post that I did publish.

Much like my everyday life, I put a lot of pressure on myself with writing sometimes.



Continued ... Intermission Post: My Made Up Deadlines

IEP: Components to Consider When Seeking Accommodations

This is the first of a three parter. You guessed it I got REALLY wordy and detailed so as to not bombard people with too much information at once I decided to make it into three. In these posts, I give a lot of information, resources and some of my personal examples, life experience. This post contains resources and some of my opinions regarding the IEP and 504. :-) Before you dive into this or possibly feel overwhelmed by all of it let me say this. I would suggest that you ponder what accommodations that you make at home to help your child feel safe. Consider times when you were trying to teach them something, how did they learn best? Think about any moments that were successful and try to write down what you can remember about the event. When have they been their happiest and most at ease? Think of times when you were teaching them something and they were the most responsive, they enjoyed themselves, and/or were able to process better.

Write them down or even record it on your phone or something.

Make it as easy as possible for you to get what you remember documented to help you, consider the environment. Think of the people or family members that were around; is your child more responsive toward a specific personality type? Maybe, just maybe you can share that with the IEP team and they can work with that information. Think of the clothes that they were wearing. Try to think of the foods that they ate that day, any sort of sensory and social situation that pops into your memory. You do not need to get all of the details at once. Try to get what you remember, if possible ask your child. When did they have the most fun learning? What would be their ideal learning environment? ASK for those types of things for accommodations in the IEP.

I understand that not all schools/learning environments are going to be able to accommodate each and every thing.



Continued ... IEP: Components to Consider When Seeking Accommodations

The Relational Loop – Panic Trigger

I was doing fairly well last week, I had a lot going on so I did not have much time to consider the other things that were silently lingering in the back of mind. There was another silent, but loud at moments, thing that was going off in the underlying of my mind. It was the thought, How many times do I have to loop about this? It has been since childhood! Of course, it ruminated for a little while and the more it trickled its voice into my head the more that the internalized triggers and outward triggers started to explode bombs through my amygdala. The additional information from emotions, sensory, and environmental change were also at play. We have had terrible storms come through, but it was beautiful and warm for several days as well. I love being outside in the warmth, when it is nice outside that is where you will find me.

However, when the weather suddenly changes, pressures get all out of sorts, the temperature drops my mood goes with it.

(Daniel gets affected by weather changes too and his anxieties rise.) Even during some of my most anxiety ridden or challenging depressive times, I would find some hope and peace in the great outdoors, I love the sun. Weather changes make a huge impact on me. This year has been a mess of hot and cold and unpredictable weather patterns which, is contributing to my anxiety. I am also, “silently” processing in certain parts of my mind the fact that I finally openly shared on my personal facebook page with family and older friends that I am diagnosed Aspergers. I went further and emailed my dad as well. Those alone are lingering anxiety webs that are attached to many triggers no matter if the outcomes were to be positive, negative, or neutral – there is no way around me going through anxiety with that. Overall doing that has been good for me and given me a new confidence.

 I can tell you all of this.



Continued ... The Relational Loop – Panic Trigger

What Do I Want?

This post is a trail of collaborated thoughts spawned from various things I read and personal interactions recently. My mind has meandered into the question “What do I want?” Since I was a child there has been a longing, some sort of gaping hole that I felt in the metaphorical place that people claim certain feelings lurk within our bosom. My heart pounds rapidly, deeply, the thumping of a drum that continues to be fluid except for that one off beat skip, a silence then, and an echo back to the proper rhythm where I feel content. I do not recall a time in which the hollowness was not there. I cannot remember a time that I did not feel the brum, brum, brum, PANG, brum. What is that emptiness that cannot be fulfilled? I have tried so many things to sew up that painful lesion.

Many addictive band aids of all sorts, religious type glue, and even attempting to tear it wide open.

My hidden cavern tucked away — a vacancy that gives the impression that I am the only one who feels this. That I am the only one who knows what it feels like to walk in the trenches of a wasteland. I hide it well behind my eyes and my smiles. It is covered up with my laughs and silliness. But it is always there. The smiles, laughs, and silliness can be real, but the chasm is still there. Many times I am perfectly fine; I have made friends with the hollowed portions of me. We are good. I am not afraid of it. I find comfort in my favorite poets during these times. I recite Edgar Allen Poe’s Alone with a glimmer and a spark. Sometimes it feels black and void, but I am not afraid of darkness … there is not a lot of things that I am afraid of. If I were to narrow it down my biggest fear is rejection and being invisible, I have mentioned that before.

I think my wounded hole manifests its existence more so when I am anticipating rejection or confused by social situations.



Continued ... What Do I Want?

State Testing Was A Positive Experience!

I wanted to share what a positive experience state testing was for us and why. I especially wanted to share because last year I had a minor panic/meltdown leading me into anxiety driven research mode about state testing and I ended up writing two posts about it. (State Testing, IEP, Accommodations – Concerns and State Testing, IEP, Accommodations – Questions!) My anxiety induced research modes can be quite useful and fabulous for staying fixated and on task, so I am thankful for them many times. This research mode helped a great deal in finding out what accommodations and requests I could make for Daniel and Joshua not only for state testing, but for their IEP’s. I had hoped to gain knowledge, wisdom, and insights from other experiences that parents had, but I did not find much on the topic.

I did not hear from many people either, so it left me to wonder if I was the only one.

I knew that many parents before me had gone through the state testing process, but I had not found anything from them nor did I receive much feedback from my posts. I am not sure why, but now I feel that for those who may be experiencing similar feelings or who do not know how to handle state testing I will share our experience. I am also, working on a post about IEP’s — I hope to have it finished this week. I went into the IEP meetings with all of my requests listed for accommodations for Daniel and state testing. I had an understanding and knew what I could receive for him.

I had already made up my mind that if his needs were not met that I would opt out.

However, I wanted him to have this experience. I was concerned for Ariel as well because she has such intense anxiety with new experiences. Her social anxiety can become overwhelming for her as well. She shutdowns and cannot think very well when she is in anxiety mode. Still it was important for us to attempt this to stretch ourselves and also, for us to engage on some level with the local kids that also attend the virtual school. You never know where you can meet kindred spirits or engage in a new social encounter good or bad. It is good for me too because it helps me to overcome my own anxieties, meet the teachers in person, and interact with other parents.

Ok, ok how was it positive?



Continued ... State Testing Was A Positive Experience!