Joshua’s Birthday Party! (And Ramblings)

Last night we celebrated Joshua’s birthday. He turns seven tomorrow! It was a great success all around and I am thankful because this week has been filled with new anxiety adventures with storms. Daniel became frightened of lightning and thunder the other day when we had a huge storm. The poor guy could not take his hands off his ears. He was sobbing which he does not do, he really dislikes crying so he tries to stop himself, but he was in so much pain from the sound and afraid that he could not stop himself. Ariel became frightened too when another storm rolled in the next evening.

I ended up holding both of them for a while until they fell asleep.

Joshua was fine! It is rather ironic since, Joshua is the one who has the most trouble with sudden sounds like lightning and thunder. Things that make you go hmm … This week I tried to take it easy so we all could recuperate from the two weeks prior full of all sorts of social chaos and funness. I knew that my anxiety levels would be high from that along with the anticipation of family coming over for Joshua’s birthday party. We decided to do it yesterday so my dad and step mom could come too.

Continued ... Joshua’s Birthday Party! (And Ramblings)

Understanding (My) Perseverating Thoughts

Posted on June 25, 2013 by Angel

I have been reading Safety Skills for Asperger Women: How to Save a Perfectly Good Female Life for months. Literally, I got it for my birthday in March and I have been reading it this long. There is so much information that has helped me that I have gone back and reread it. Some chapters I have camped out at for a while. There are so many confirmations and answers that I needed at this leg in my journey in life. Liane Holliday Willey’s book Pretending to Be Normal: Living With Asperger’s Syndrome was one of the first books I read where I began to realize without a doubt that I was an Aspergers woman. There were some indications that other books gave me, but when I read hers, it rang within in my spirit and I finally had some sort of new understanding about myself.

However, it took several years later to get my official diagnosis and then, the path to acceptance for myself. 

I am still on an acceptance path. I gain new understanding about myself continually. Many times the way my brain works is that I write about it days, months, and yes, even sometimes years in advance before I am able to connect to what I am actually trying to discover about myself. My recent findings have been in the last three months. I have changed drastically in my real life. Some days I am not so strong, but those days are far less now. I no longer keep quiet about what hurts me, things that feel like mistreatments, or jokes/jabs that hurt me.

I speak up and tell people not to talk to me like that.

Continued ... Understanding (My) Perseverating Thoughts

We Did It!

The kids and I did it! Two weeks straight of nonstop social (and sensory input) and trying new things. It was challenging with the additional stresses from house and owner issues. However, I managed to find my peace and help keep the kids at peace too. There were several challenging moments, but the recovery time was much faster. That tends to come and go though. Some times there can be quick recovery, other times it can take days (weeks); accepting this has made it a little better. It diminishes expectations of everything calming down when “I” expect it to and it helps me have more patience. (Well, most of the time.  )

Joshua had fun with basketball camp, but it was not his favorite.

He had challenging times and even when he was doing well he did not think so. I find it troubling how negative his thoughts can go even when I pour all the positives into him and reiterate all the things he does well. Unfortunately, it did not help that they did not give him a certificate or anything after the camp was complete. I am not sure what happened, but he told me that they promised to give them a surprise when it was over. Ariel received a certificate for gymnastics camp so I am not sure what was planned for basketball or what happened. Joshua also, had it in his mind that they were going to give him a jersey or something.

I asked him if they said that and he said, “No.”

Continued ... We Did It!

Another Adventurous Week

 had to do a mind dump post because I have so much swarming around my brain that my head is spinning. 

On Friday when I wrote my last post, I was under the assumption that all things that were going wrong with this house and yard were to be fixed on Saturday. I felt fairly confident about signing on for another year. (Not so much anymore.) The property manager prepared us in advance that there would be a landscape crew and maintenance people to work on the pipes and such. The property manager showed up along with the crew, the next thing we saw were the owners. They drove all the way out here from the state that they live in without warning and sent everyone home.

They started doing the work themselves.

Then, they texted us and said that they would be here for the next four days doing work. Keep in mind, that we have repeatedly asked them to PLEASE warn us if there is going to be days of work or different people parading in and out. After last week being such so intense socially and a new adventure week I was concerned with how Daniel was going to respond.

Continued ... Another Adventurous Week

YMCA: Day Four & Five

I was too exhausted to get any words out yesterday, but the day was fairly uneventful. There were things, but nothing major that happened. I was rather zombiefied and needed to have some serious downtime for the rest of the day. The kids did (do) too. That is what we did yesterday; we sat around, painted, played on the iPad, and read some books.

Today was the last day for Ariel’s gymnastics camp. 

We had to be there earlier, at the end of class, to see her do her new awesome moves that she learned. I took the boys to the pool and today some great accomplishments were achieved. Joshua passed his swimming test which means he can swim all around the pool without needing me to be at least arms length away from him.

He was so excited.

 Continued ... YMCA: Day Four & Five

YMCA: Day Three

Hello!! Happy Wednesday! Today has been a good day. There were a few hiccups, but it ended up being one that can go in the books as close to awesome. Daniel has been in a mood today where he is being more demanding than, usual. He does not want me out of his sight and if he cannot see me, even if I am close by him, he starts to panic and yells, “Mommy, mommy!” Very loud. That happened a few times today other than that, he was a happy fella.

We are all being stretched socially and I am sure our sensory system is being stretched as well.

Continued ... YMCA: Day Three

YMCA Week: Day Two

Posted on June 11, 2013 by Angel

OK! Day two and everyone is already overloaded. Yikes! However, I am hopeful that once we get into our groove we will all do much better. Just for kicks to add to the stress I am considering taking the kids to a Renaissance Festival on Saturday. We’ll see how we are all feeling by then, but it is free and they have never been. I went several times in my life and loved it!

Yesterday, I forgot to mention that Joshua made some friends. 

A couple of boys his age gravitated toward him and they played the whole time. Out of the three kids, Joshua is the most out-going and social. He does very well at making friends as long as they play something that he likes. Today one of the same boys was there. He also, tried to interact with Daniel yesterday. He asked Daniel questions several times AND Daniel responded. Daniel even showed him what door to knock on to ask the lifeguards for goggles. HUGE! Daniel’s usual response is to look at the kid, smile, laugh, and then, walk away.

I was very surprised and happy for Daniel. 

He seemed to feel good about it. Today the little boy came up to Joshua and Daniel and asked them to play. Joshua went off swimming with him right away, Daniel stayed next to me, as though he was not a part of the invite. I asked Daniel if he wanted to play too and if he did to go over to them. He smiled and went over to them. He tried, but was not sure what to do so he went off on his own again. He was ok with it. He does enjoy his alone time swimming. I on the other hand was elated for him. He has never done that and I could tell that he is starting to feel more comfortable being around boys his age.

Still he prefers to be around younger children, and BABIES trump everyone! 

Ariel is so excited too and she is happy to be in a class full of girls. Last night, she was requesting a sister again. Nope. Not. Nary. Never going to happen. ‘Nough said. It is good to see her enjoy herself and be happy with other girls. It made my heart leap with a bit of jollity when I dropped her off this morning and a couple of little girls yelled, “Ariel! Hi!” while running over to her. Her weekend gymnastics has been like that a little bit, but this class is great because it is a diverse group of about twenty. The atmosphere is positive as well so all around it is a great experience for her. (And me)

Well that is about it for today. 

It went good; I do have a little beef with the older male lifeguard who is going to get a serious attitude from me if he doesn’t stop with his anal whistle blowing ways. BUT I am focusing on the positives this week and will let it go. However, be forewarned if he does not stop his shenanigans I will have a post about me getting kicked out of the YMCA for tossing him right off his lifeguard chair. Not really. I like to fantasize about my uncontrollable self taking charge and tackling those who abuse their authority.  Kind of like the scene in High Fidelity. (Warning strong language and fabricated violence.) That is all.

Now I ask you to join me in a good evening dance YMCA. Wear a costume if you feel like it! 

YMCA Week: Day Two

YMCA Week Begins: Day One

Today started the next two weeks of adventures at the Y. Ariel has gymnastics camp every morning this week and Joshua will trade off next week starting his basketball camp. We have never done anything like this before. There are many reasons for that, but I am excited that we finally get the opportunity. It is great to give the kids a chance to try things that they are interested in. I cannot wait for Daniel’s music therapy/social group to start. (June 21st) I think this is going to be amazing for him. I am also excited to have found a possible piano teacher for him whose cost per lesson is something that we can afford. I am calling her tomorrow. (Can’t wait!)

This experience will be a challenge and huge progress for us.

I thought about all of the new social situations that we will all be doing and about the social/sensory/life stress in general that is happening in the next two weeks. It made me think that I REALLY need to make this as positive as possible and that I need to try to reduce our anxiety levels as much as possible. My mind has been soaring for days. Yesterday, I could not think straight at all – I was a hyper-spaz. I truly was there is no way around it. I was jittery, my mind was racing, I could not get a calm moment, I started to lose my words, I started to panic about my family, then freaking out about past events that I do not even care about. I almost went into a complete shutdown, but was able to pull out after a couple of hours. Basically I was spinning in looping circles of nothing and everything.

I could not make it stop. 

continued ... YMCA Week Begins: Day One

“Am I Autism?”

The other day at the library, I picked up a few videos in hopes of helping the kids and myself learn how to communicate about Autism. I was also seeking better ways of dealing with challenging sibling situations. I have tried to help the children learn how to understand Autism and themselves, but I feel that I fall short many times.

I wrote a post in January Learning About Frustrations.

It has many resources in regards to siblings and Autism. Still, we do not quite fit into the neurotypical/ (Alltistic? Neuro-seemingly-more-”normal,” than some of us, but based upon a group ideal that is technically not clearly defined, somehow culturally people know something that I do not.) Autistic sibling’s relationship here. Daniel is ASD with developmental delays and language delay. Ariel seems very much to be an Aspergers girl and Joshua seems to be an Aspergers boy with Dyslexia and possibly ADHD.

However, I do not have an official diagnosis for Ariel or Joshua.

I hope to have answers by the end of summer. Along with the resources I am using aboutgiftedness, I have been lurking about the library halls gathering more info about ADHD. I found this yesterday, The Survival Guide for Kids with ADD or ADHD and Cory Stories: A Kid’s Book About Living with ADHD. These books were eye opening for me. It was as if someone wrote specifically about my little Joshua.

Continued ... “Am I Autism?”

That Did NOT Go As Planned …

I have concluded that something, for some reason, is trying to teach me a lesson in things not going my way. Granted I have managed to progress in this area fairly well, most days. After having children you really, do not have a choice other than learned to accept this fact of nature. HOWEVER, things have not been going as planned for over a week if not longer – I can no longer remember because my allergies have messed up any sense of time that I had which was already very little to begin with.

There has been problem after problem with the house that we are renting.

This has caused people to be in and out of our home and property for days. This is never good. It makes me incredibly anxious and left with feeling constantly “invaded.” I have to put in extra effort to work through my anxieties because the children, especially Daniel feed off my emotions. I have not been “perfect mom” throughout all of this. I am also feeling frustrated because I have not completed several things I set out to before Ariel starts her gymnastics camp next week. The week after Joshua starts his basketball camp and that will be two weeks of us being at the Y for three hours every day. Not to mention my two workout nights. A lot of people time …

Continued That Did NOT Go As Planned …

The Powers That Beat: Aspie Kid | Perspectives from the Autism Spectrum ...

The Powers That Beat: Aspie Kid | Perspectives from the Autism Spectrum ...: Lawful Posted on February 2, 2013 by AspieKid I saw a cute little dog on ...

Rainbows And Coincidence?

This morning I had a story flooding my mind. I loved writing the story because I felt like I had literally jumped into that world. The story had rainbows involved, ironically the sky filled with rainbows (technically circumhorizontal arc) today. It was bright and sunny, not a raincloud in the sky. It seemed as though the very story I had written came to life for me. I did not tell the kids about the story, but they shared in the excitement of the rainbows in the sky. What made it even more amusing was that the rainbow would go and then show up again, smaller and in different parts of the sky. We saw them at my mom’s house and by the time we left they were gone.

Continued .. 
Rainbows And Coincidence?

Gifted? What Is That All About?

I am so excited to have a REAL library here. Where we used to the live my home library carried more books and resources. It was very limited and small. Here there is a grand awesome library downtown and I think about eight more all across town. They are smaller, but they carry recent books and they are connected to the main library. I mention that because well, I was excited and because it has a TON of resources for Autism, gifted learning, and learning disabilities. I have been researching ways to help Daniel and Joshua with their reading struggles. I have been concerned about Joshua because he shows more prominent signs of dyslexia. As a matter-of-fact, he shows not just a few signs and symptoms, but he ranks extremely high according to the questionnaires, signs, and symptoms I have read.

I already knew this, but I started to doubt myself.

I explained this to his teacher at the beginning of the year. She seemed to feel that with repetition and with the five-day reading plan, that he would be able to grasp reading. He did not. He has struggled throughout the whole year. He also, freezes when he has to do timed reading assessments so I do not feel there was ever an accurate reading assessment done with him. (I am trying to help him and Daniel with this by practicing timed reading each week.) She wanted to retain him. I refused. I could not do it. The boy knows his subjects. He has mastered first grade math, science, social studies, etc … He struggles with handwriting and reading. Continued ... Gifted? What Is That All About?