“You Are Made Of Granite” I

A couple of weekends ago, David said to me, “You are made of granite.” I had several situations that caused a trigger attack upon my senses, emotions and then, ultimately physically. I am not going to go into what happened, it really does not matter and it would take too long to detail all of the triggers and incidents that set me off.

When I go through that, I feel weak.

I feel as though, I should be able to control my emotions and how other people’s words or actions affect me. I feel as though, I should be strong enough to ignore or brush off those things, but I am not. I begin to attack myself and blame myself for things that are not my fault. These are common things for those who have been victimized. (Insert a good read Why do trauma survivors blame themselves?) However, I find myself sick and upset at myself whenever I am hurting again, because of what others have said or done to me.

I immediately comb over my words and try to figure out what I did wrong. 

Continued ...“You Are Made Of Granite” I