Intermission Post – Keeping It Thanksgiving Lite! (Kind Of)

I figured I would hold off on my next “intense” post and keep chipper.  Well maybe not chipper, maybe less intense? Maybe half the calories in this post than, usual?  My brain is musing so I will need to write a little bit about what I am feeling so I can move on. I am feeling much less anxious this year at the start of the holidays. My heart does not feel as trampled upon as in years past, as. Today I looked out the window and had flashes of my dad, step mom, and my sisters all spending Thanksgiving together and I did not feel the usual hurt. I felt fine, but the lingering feeling of being left out and kind of sad struck me. I told David and expressed my confusion because Thanksgiving was never a big holiday time with my dad.

I did not spend much time with that side of the family during Thanksgiving, so I could not understand my connection to feeling left out. 

In addition, I am not being left out. Our family is welcome to come, but there is no way that we can make road trips. They live three and half hours away. Daniel still cannot handle being in the car for long periods of time and both Ariel and Joshua get car sick easily; so it is not an option. David shared his thoughts that possibly it was because Thanksgiving is so focused on family and since, I have this feeling of disconnect and not belonging that I may feel this sense of being left out. I am sure that plays into my feelings. I am happy with our tradition of staying home and spending time with the kids. Honestly, I am not a big fan of many holiday foods. I find many of the smells repulsive. Food makes me uncomfortable and the whole idea of sitting around eating with family and friends makes me want to burst into tears. I cannot even sit at the kitchen table with David and the kids. I hate being around people when I eat, HATE it!

Sorry, little tangent.

Continued ... Intermission Post – Keeping It Thanksgiving Lite! (Kind Of)