In this post, I am going to try and dissect what may seem similarities with idealized love between Aspergers and narcissists. (Or narcissistic traits in individuals.) There are distinctions between abusers and narcissist as well. Not all abusers are narcissists. I would like to say here, using the word “narcissist” as flippantly as our society has, has made the actual definition and its destructive attributes become watered down. It has become a word thrown around much like, Autism, Aspergers, Bipolar, OCD, ADHD, ADD, Dyslexia, etc … These “labels” have been contorted and misused so much that it is difficult for those who are not directly impacted or who have just realized them (been diagnosed themselves or someone in their life) to comprehend what each one actually means.
I believe there is a huge difference when it comes to comparing any of these with narcissism.
Many times people believe that someone not “knowing” or “responding” to them in the way they expected is determined as being selfish. In fact, I would say it has more to do with the person’s expectations. However, if you live with, work for, or have encountered a narcissist (or the overwhelming traits of an individual) you can decipher the differences. It normally becomes very clear after you start questioning many things about yourself. Here is an excerpt to a link that I will share that gives more information.
“Look at yourself and ask yourself how you feel and whether you are the person you once were and knew. If you live with a narcissist, you will develop a cluster of negative feelings centered around the emotion of fear and an image of inadequacy. This self image of being inadequate then will be due to a change in self perception. This is, it is a cognitive concept that you are not familiar with and which is in contrast to how you used to see yourself. Clearly, such a negative self image will have serious effects on the way you feel and behave. The dominant feeling is, as alluded to, fear. Fear of doing things wrong and fear of being punished. And thus, the way you behave too will become modified whereby you will watch your every move and where your actions become unnatural to yourself.”
If you feel any of this I suggest doing these exercises to help get out of the fog. What To Do About Fear, Obligation and Guilt Continued ... Ideal(ized) Love: Obsession-Like
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