Thankful Thursday!

I have been having a rough week. I had the pleasure of my vertigo episodes then, I was struck with PTSD episode due to multiple factors, and the main reason is because of stress. The physical stress from going through vertigo on and off along with several of our current living situations has caused me confusion and to be affected by words that I usually do not get so affected by. For instance, David made a comment about Joshua having a small scar on his chin. (He fell and hurt his chin the other day.) David said, in a way that sounded negative and what sounded to me that it would be a bad thing to have a small scar. (I like all of my scars.)

It struck a nerve.

I said, “Oh, because a small scar is so awful. If that is the case what do you think about my gargantuan birthmark on my neck?” Yeah, I am not proud, but the reality is it hurt, it confused me, it bothered me that he would say something like that and that it could cause Joshua to feel self- conscious. Comments like that do affect me, but on a “normal” day I can brush it off. David was just making a comment, but I am such a “stress mess” that my automatic response was based on my own anxieties stemmed from my dysmorphia. That is what happens when I start to feel that my world is out-of-control. My brain automatically goes back to dysmorphic and eating disorder type of coping mechanisms.

I am so exhausted from going back and forth with our housing situation.

Continued ... Thankful Thursday!