I am processing a lot in this post – I hope to calm myself a little. I feel as though the world is ending – everything is exploding all around me and negativity is trying to consume my thoughts. At the same time, I am excited, full of joy, and quite giddy. I tend to have no sense of awareness of my stress. I do not feel stressed, however, when I watch a comedy show with friends gathering together calling for Holiday lights to be turned on and I begin to tear up I know something is wrong. Only a couple of weeks ago, David said that we needed to buy a new Christmas tree because ours is ruined from the leaking garage here.
My response?
“I do not want to waste any money on a tree. We do not have money for that.” David’s response, “I want a tree and the kids really like having a tree.” In my ever so understanding voice, (not really) I said, “We’ll just get a stick from the yard and put some tinsel on it.” I did immediately, realize how ridiculous that was, but a tree is not a priority to me. Um, yeah we will be getting a tree. 
I share that to give you some insight to how much I am not the decorating Christmassy light type of person so for me to tear up at friends trying make Holiday lights come on and be all winter fest cheery is not something that moves me.
My moods have been floundering all over the place the past two weeks. I share that to give you some insight to how much I am not the decorating Christmassy light type of person so for me to tear up at friends trying make Holiday lights come on and be all winter fest cheery is not something that moves me.Continued ... Chaos! Stress! Chaos!
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