Too Good To Be True?

I am glad I wrote out my thoughts yesterday it helped to clear my mind and ease some of my “meeting new people” anxieties. I had not planned on writing about our social experience yesterday, but there were too many fantastic things that happened – I really would like to. Plus, I am extremely frustrated with my inability to finish my last post from the series 5 Actions That Gave Me Hope About Autism. It is about cultivating my own support network and I am struggling with keeping it focused. I think I am over 2000 words. However, it is 2000 words of scattered thoughts not flowing cohesively. I want it to be shorter. Urg! Aaag! Ug! Those are my most scholarly of words that describe my frustrations. 

I had my normal social anxieties about going to a new place and meeting new people, but something felt different. 

I was not in a panic or overly concerned with how Daniel was going to respond. I think there were multiple factors, but one major factor was that David was at ease. He has been a source of my “enhanced” social anxiety (obviously not the source) in the past because of his own social anxieties. It has been a long time since he has found anyone that he could relate to and all of my efforts of trying to get us connected with others in the past were not successful. There are many reasons for that the simplest of reason, “not our crowd.” I can find topics and things to speak with people if I am put into a social setting I have learned to do that through family situations and as a means to cope – I learned to mirror rather well. David either connects or does not – he has no patience for certain types of people. He is not mean; he just does not waste his energies.

I am intrigued by all people and the more I do not understand them the more I can get fixated on the why’s and how’s of their personality. 

Continued ... Too Good To Be True?